Top Ten Ways the Recession Is Affecting the Mafia

Thrifty Gangster

10. Several Dons forced to take paper routes

9. Expensive, name brand brass knuckles replaced with generic equivalents

8. Can only afford to rent Godfather III on movie night

7. Black Lincolns replaced with Toyota Corollas

6. Instead of using expensive cement shoes, victims forced to eat heavy pasta dinner before being thrown into East River.

5. They were forced to lay off several judges

4. Informants squeal on themselves for reward money

3. Can no longer justify stealing HBO just for The Sopranos

2. Royal Crown tastes just as good as Coke or Pepsi

1. People late with loan payments forced to break own thumbs