Your Real Horoscopes

By a Real Fake Astrologers

Have you ever had to deal with the immense pressure of not knowing your own destiny? Do you have questions about money, romance, or career? Do you spend hours each morning deciding which flavor of Pop Tart to eat?

Well we have a solution for you! Each week (or some semblence thereof) real people posing as astrologers try to determine your fate, often while sober. They're guaranteed to be just as (in)accurate as those other guy's 'scopes, but they're a lot more fun!